ForEveryFriend.Com !!!!  Old three-boobed joke: God creates Eve first and gives her three boobs. When She asks Eve if there is anything She should change, Eve says that she could do without the middle tit. So, God took the third boob and made Adam. Pub Quiz: So, I lost the pub quiz last night by one point. The last question was "where do most women have curly hair?"  Apparently the correct answer is Africa. The Train Trip Sitting together on a train was Barack Hussein Obama, George W. Bush, a little old lady, and a shapely young blonde lady. The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks. The old lady thinks: Obama must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped him. The blonde girl thinks: Obama must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped him. Obama thinks: Bush must have groped the blonde in the dark.  She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead. George Bush thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can smack Obama again, for blaming me for everything he's done wrong.  This is what happens when you assume things. (The Assumption Song.) CHINESE SICK LEAVE  : 'I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!'   Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick . Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.' The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my   wife and tell her to give me sex.That Makes everything better and I go to work.. You try that.' Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what You say and I feel Great.. I be at work soon.........You got nice house' THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and The eyesight to tell the difference.     So Ole asks Sven, "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off 'der boats?"  To which Sven replies,"Well, you know, if they fell forwards they'd still be in da dang boat!" There you have it..................................... Powerful Writer: There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer. When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation and anger!" He now works for Microsoft writing error mesages.                                     Don't be afraid to be yourself. Why don't they have any jokes about vegetables? Because they're too corny.
Hound Dog Layin' In The Yard. There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ''Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?'' a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied, ''Nope.'' As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog began snarling and growling, and then attacked the tourist. As the tourist flailed around in the dust, he yelled, ''I thought you said your dog didn't bite!'' The old man muttered,   ''Ain't my dog.'' A cat's dictionary   Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness. Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty. Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something. Human being: Automatic door opener for cats. Purrpetual: Everlasting love for domesticated felines. Purrson: A male kitty. Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing.                                                                        When life gets you down...                                               Remember  to just keep going, and keep your                                                  head above water...